The Wanderer's Diary

I am a daughter..

I am a girlfriend..

I am woman..

I am special in God’s eyes.

I am blessed.

I am forgiven.

I am strong..

I am fearless.



I am a wanderer.

And for all these, may God be praised. :)

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tags: + blessed + licensed + electronicsengineer + electronicstechnician + oath-taking + Cebu City
Throwback Thursday

     I ran as fast as I could, passing by
everyone I knew. I was already catching up my
breath but I could no longer stop. Three
meters away from home — no, there’s no way
that I would stop. I ran over a huge pile of
wood. Unfortunately, one of the pieces cut
through me. I could not believe it. My ankle
was bleeding because I kept running like
crazy, without even thinking clearly. The
wound really looked bad. It was like 4 inches
long and hurt like hell while I was walking.

As my wound bled even worse, I just walked until I got home.

"What happened to you?". A father will always  be a father. My dad asked me.. no, he interrogated me about my wound and I was like
"Please, turn on the TV and tune in to ABS- CBN."

"What’s the hurry? Is it more important than
taking care of that bleeding ankle?” My
father was a bit furious already.

"Okay. I’ll get betadine but please ‘Dy, turn
to ABS-CBN”. I sounded more demanding this

My dad turned on the TV and voila! I just
arrived on time.

"Oh baby, baby, baby. My baby, baby…" The
Taiwanese boy band started singing. Yay! My
favorite show had just started.

I was getting the betadine at the top shelf
of our divider while my eyes are glued on the
TV. I couldn’t even guess what I was holding.
My dad said, “You’re gonna drop that freaking
piggy bank on your head!”.

"Oh.. I’m sorry" is all I can say. That time,
I made sure I picked up betadine.

I heard a noise on the kitchen and at the top
of my lungs, I shouted at my older sister,
"Meteor Garden na!!!".

I can see her climb up the stairs so fast,
that I laughed so hard when she almost fell.
We sat on the couch while my dad was putting
betadine to my wound.

"You’re a silly kid! You injured yourself
because you were running home to watch Meteor
Garden.” My mom came out of the bedroom, with
my baby sister on her arms.

"It’s okay. It’s nothing.".. Well, I did
convince myself that it’s okay when in fact,
it really hurts.

That was 11 years ago when Meteor Garden was
aired on ABS-CBN. And now that they are
airing it again, I can’t help but feel
nostalgic. I can even remember how my ankle
hurt that very day.

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tags: + myrandomthoughts
Blogging 8th of April

     Few weeks ago, I had been restless and anxious. I have sent dozens of resume but not a single company replied. 

     Now, I had been turning down one company after another. The offer is just not reasonable. Not that I am playing “choosy”, but it is a JOB. If you can’t enjoy what you do or earn, it’s bloody damnation. 

     I decided to keep it this way. I am comparing one job offer to another. The company with the best experience and compensation to offer shall get me. ;)

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tags: + myrandomthoughts
Morning Madness

     I woke up feeling frustrated and miserable. I miss my family. We are islands apart. In spite the fact that they had been asking me to come home for two weeks now, I insisted on staying here in Cebu. I had been waiting for job interviews or calls, but for those two weeks, only a few companies contacted me. Now, you know why I feel so frustrated. I sacrificed the time that I could be home, for job interviews that made me wait like… forever.

      On the brighter side, I have my boyfriend to look after me and take care of me. But somehow, when he leaves for work and I am left alone, I can’t fight the feeling of being lonely. I have never been this lonely in my life. Everyday when I wake up, I just imagine that if only I were home, waking up would be more fun. I just imagine my nieces coming to my bed, asking me to play with them. I just imagine my parents getting mad at me for waking up late again. I just imagine my sister cooking breakfast and my brother sitting in front of the TV watching “Adventure Time”. That would be more awesome than my everyday routine here of getting up, cooking my own meals, washing the dishes (and clothes, sometimes), cleaning the room, watching Youtube videos. Such an early hell for me. I’m not even happy. Although sometimes, I convince myself that I am. :( 

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tags: + myrandomthoughts
A writer is a world trapped in a person.
—Victor Hugo (via nestingcas)

(Source: maxkirin)

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Arrow + comic-ed

Mission: Please Save Oliver!

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Everybody has gone through something that has changed them in a way that they could never go back to the person they once were.
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tags: + quotes + life + experience + myrandomthoughts + quoteoftheday

      Passing the Electronics Engineering Board Exam and Electronics Technician Licensure exam is a miracle for me. :) Since the beginning of the review classes, I have prayed so hard for it. But my actions were really contradicting. I find myself procrastinating most of the times — sleeping instead of studying, watching movies instead of solving engineering problems. I couldn’t even consider myself worthy of passing the exams. 

     2 weeks before the board exam, I was quite alarmed already — almost in a panic. Lots of reading materials to go with so little time. I was regretting at that moment. Out of desperation, I prayed and cried. My prayer turned from “Help me pass the board, Lord” to “Prepare me for whatever the outcome may be, Lord”. I was scared. But I continued to make use of the time I had left.

     Just 2 weeks before the board, I didn’t show up on my review classes anymore. I made time to study on my own and assess myself if I can really finish the coverage before the exam dates. One week before damnation, I realized that I am only halfway the coverage. I was just asking for a miracle then. Jepoi and I paid a visit at Mother Mary’s Shrine at Simala, Sibonga, Cebu. There, I desperately asked for guidance and miracle. I could not believe that such uncertainty would come to me. I kept the faith but the tension was rising. I could not memorize any formulas because my heart is pounding louder than my thoughts every time I think about the upcoming exams. 

I said to myself..

"So, this is how it feels.."

The dates came. 

     I wasn’t prepared for it. I mean, I would be lying if I say that I gave my 100% to the exams. The first subject was Math. Damn! That wasn’t Math! That was bloody hell! It was really difficult that I absolutely lost hope the moment I finished taking up the first subject. 

I could have lost that.. 

But I reminded myself that I asked for a miracle.. and miracles happen usually when you already lost hope..

I carried on.. Despite the difficult questions and out-of-this world topics, I finished everything on the 3rd day of the exam. 

I was really tired..

I went home and took a nap..

When I woke up, I watched movies.. 

Pretty good ones.. 

     I’d been doing that the entire week just to ignore my heart pounding even louder this time. The results would be announced on the 7th of March, Friday.

March 6..It was Thursday then.. I decided to let loose of the anticipation and the anxiety of what could the results of the exam be. I was torn between excitement of being an engineer and the feeling of pain if I won’t be. I wasn’t scared for myself.. I was scared of failing the people who believed me. I don’t wanna disappoint anyone. So, that night, if letting loose means getting a drink and having rashes afterwards, I drank to it. For the first time in my life, alcohol helped me forget something I really fear.. 

Or so I thought..

Friday came and I became restless. I could not focus on anything. I am trembling — the entire day! Ridiculous, I know. I kept praying. I could not understand what I was going through. I thought I’d go crazy. I’m not exaggerating by the way, it’s all true. I was scared. 

     I was exasperated. My emotions consumed me so much that when night came, I could only feel numb. The waiting exhausted me. It was 8pm and still, the results were not yet posted. I decided to ask Jepoi to watch Vampire Diaries with me. He was teasing me with “Congrats, engineer!”. I felt like crying and saying “Just don’t you dare do that to me again!”. 

     The episode was good. It was about the dying Katherine Pierce. There was a moment there when I really felt good and relaxed. Then, the episode ended….

     8:30 PM. I refused to browse the internet. But Jepoi was so filled with excitement that he offered to search the results for me (Stubborn one!). I was really terrified when he suddenly let go a teasing laugh. From a modest laugh came a sudden burst of excitement in his voice. He said’ “Engineer naka (You’re already an engineer)!”. And I said, “Ayaw pag-joke ug ing-anah ba kay kahilakon na ko (Don’t say such a joke. I wanna cry already). He insisted that he is not joking until he finally convinced me to look at the roll of successful examinees printed in the PDF sheet. I saw my name. TWICE. As an engineer and as a technician. :D

I could not believe it..

A miracle indeed..

A blessing..

A gift..

An answered prayer. :)

That night, after months of anxiety and fear, I slept peacefully. As I lay down and close my eyes, I gave myself recognition “Congrats, Engr. Alivio and welcome to the real world!”. :)

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tags: + myrandomthoughts + engineer + technician + blessed + answeredprayer
Hook telling on Emma.

(Source: minxinheels)

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[ i l o v e w o r d s ]

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★★★ more quotes here ★★★

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